My Blog

going out two friends,
at bugis street
both friends like a t-shirt design alot
while i was just there simply staring at the t-shirt
and wondering
why my friends would like such a ugly t-shirt.
i completely have no idea.

but i got to say
if i am during my primary school years,
maybe i would agree with them that the shirt is nice
and i like it much.

as during that time
i would follow people
and move with them
and live the style with them.

since that day
when stace kwan asked me to do some effects on my photos
that i took
and i didn’t tried out designing.
i think i will not be liking designing
and have such a glowing passion towards it.

since that day
when i started designing,
i said to myself
that i have to stay original
and so
from that very moment.
that’s no reasons why,
my taste become really different.

ocean pacific tees last time
tees with alot of words printed on it
dyed blue/red/ash gray hair
those may become a singapore teenager’s fashion and style.

i use to follow
but not now.

maybe just too many people doing those
and that’s nothing really original/unique
to really do those things.

maybe that’s the reason
that whenever my guy friends
ask me to go out shopping
and asking whether the things are nice or something
i would keep my mouth shut
as my style and favour for style is unlike yours.

and i have no rights to critise what you like and love.

maybe to stay original
you must be selfish.

still remembered that time i was doing blogskins
and people were like
” help me to do a custom-made skin ”
sometimes i would want to teach them
and so they can play with it or something.

i got ovver 80+ requests
and was happily doing them
but i realise something
if i am helping them to do blogskins,
aren’t me just spreadin my style around the whole
would my style be original again?

like last time,
when friends were like
help me to do the cartoon dumbie you done.
somehow
i would want to ask you guys to do it your ownself.
you will know how difficult it is being done
you will know how fun designing is

and lastly
the designs ( or cartoon dumbie ) you done
will be kind of different from mine
and that’s your own style.

honestly,
do not try to use other people’s designs and say that’s yours
do not try to follow the things i have done
as honestly
i do not really like it

just simply
stay original
unless you need some helps
and you really like my designing style.

so what’s love?
i didn’t really know that when i am young
like during sec 1
when my classmates were like saying words
like ” stead ” and ” chio bu ”
and i don’t understand what those words really means.

maybe is because
i had been studying in a boys school for my primary level.
and you wouldn’t expect me to love a boy
( honestly, i am not a gay )

talking about the first relationship i had
i can’t stop laughing somehow.

that was during my sec 1 life,
and that’s was the first time a girl ever like me
( somehow, the reason behind why she liked me was kind of stupid
and hurting though )

it goes like this,
honestly i forgotten/have no idea how i knew that girl like me.
i think most probably through a friend.
and i was kind of crazy that moment when i knew that girl like me

i knew her name but i don’t know how she look like
and guess what i did.
i went asking friends that knew her how she look like and others.

haha,
i was unmature enough to do that.
and i accepted her at the end
( without the knowledge of how love is being feeled and others )

what i knew that time was
not to make anyone beside sad
and make them as happy as i could.

and so,
i didn’t want to reject that girl
and not to make her sad though.

but weeks pass,
honestly to say,
i was feeling kind of terrible.
as in i don’t think i can work out things well with her
i feel awkward somehow, sometimes.
maybe this wasn’t love ( that’s what i think during that moment )
and so i break with her after 3 weeks ( i think )

and that’s was the first heart i ever cracked
( heard from her friends that she cried pretty badly )

i was very sorry,
and i was thinking maybe we both should be back together.

but
by doing this
i am just lying through this relationship
and hurting myself even more.
( will that be worth it )

after this relationship
i was thinking,
maybe i knew what’s love really was
but actually it was just a unmature thought of mine.

and so i went on,
walking my life
with a glowing heart
and months later
i falled in love in with a girl
a girl which i met in the cruise

( i told lots of people how i met this girl in the cruise.
it’s a another unmature doing of the past )

i didn’t got to know her name
i didn’t got to know her no.
when i left the cruise
( except that she is really good in playing time crisis 2 )

i was pretty sad when i reached home from the cruise trip
regretting
hating myself for not having ay courage to ask her for his no.
or anything.

but at last
i found her through friendster
( that’s was only few days after the cruise trip )

chat with her in msn for a few days
and i confessed with her.

haha,
guess you guys should be laughing
a guy confess with a girl just after few days chatting with her.
sounds that the guy was kind of despo

honestly,
she was the girl i really loved most
and i just spoiled my chance this way

regreting what i had done
but is kind of useless

i thought fate brought us together
but guess fate can be destroyed easily
with just two bare hands
and a stupid unmature mindset

or maybe i didn’t know what’s love at all
during that time.

and so life continues on
i gone through some relationships
and learn more on what’s love is.

and guess what i knew about love,

love never have a meaning.

Kind of bored now and so was thinking why don’t just update a blog entry
in friendster’s blog system.

i was viewing my old friendster profile templates that i did last time.
i was staring at the about me session
and that’s was what i wrote

“About Me:
i have a can can look…. i wish to treat gals well… i
do not bully gals…

Who I Want to Meet:
i wish to meet a singapore gal. i wish her to be younger
then me and she must be pretty for sure….kind hearted
also”

i am kind of ashamed of it,
it sound that i am quite despo to meet a perfect girl and wanted it to be my girlfriend.

that’s what i wrote when i was between p6 and sec 1
haha,
i still can’t believe actually i did write that in my friendster profile before.

guess the past
will always be our memories
no point being ashamed and regret
walk on with our own life
still long ahead
challenges ahead
that’s what makes life interesting.

guess i have grown up alot
since this few years
( maybe not on appearance that much )
in my mind set.

still remember
when i was p6
kids were wearing ocean pacfic t-shirts
and everyone was buying them.
( honestly during that time you could see lots of teenagers wearing them )
i was one of them too.

during that time,
what my friends have,
i would wish to have too
i wish to be part of them during that time.

but now,
mindset changes
i wish to just be myself
and not to follow any of other people.
just simply to stay original
and prevent
someone from saying that you
actually are copying him or her.

so how did my mindset change,
read the following posts to find out.