Talking about love and how love matures
so what’s love?
i didn’t really know that when i am young
like during sec 1
when my classmates were like saying words
like ” stead ” and ” chio bu ”
and i don’t understand what those words really means.
maybe is because
i had been studying in a boys school for my primary level.
and you wouldn’t expect me to love a boy
( honestly, i am not a gay )
talking about the first relationship i had
i can’t stop laughing somehow.
that was during my sec 1 life,
and that’s was the first time a girl ever like me
( somehow, the reason behind why she liked me was kind of stupid
and hurting though )
it goes like this,
honestly i forgotten/have no idea how i knew that girl like me.
i think most probably through a friend.
and i was kind of crazy that moment when i knew that girl like me
i knew her name but i don’t know how she look like
and guess what i did.
i went asking friends that knew her how she look like and others.
haha,
i was unmature enough to do that.
and i accepted her at the end
( without the knowledge of how love is being feeled and others )
what i knew that time was
not to make anyone beside sad
and make them as happy as i could.
and so,
i didn’t want to reject that girl
and not to make her sad though.
but weeks pass,
honestly to say,
i was feeling kind of terrible.
as in i don’t think i can work out things well with her
i feel awkward somehow, sometimes.
maybe this wasn’t love ( that’s what i think during that moment )
and so i break with her after 3 weeks ( i think )
and that’s was the first heart i ever cracked
( heard from her friends that she cried pretty badly )
i was very sorry,
and i was thinking maybe we both should be back together.
but
by doing this
i am just lying through this relationship
and hurting myself even more.
( will that be worth it )
after this relationship
i was thinking,
maybe i knew what’s love really was
but actually it was just a unmature thought of mine.
and so i went on,
walking my life
with a glowing heart
and months later
i falled in love in with a girl
a girl which i met in the cruise
( i told lots of people how i met this girl in the cruise.
it’s a another unmature doing of the past )
i didn’t got to know her name
i didn’t got to know her no.
when i left the cruise
( except that she is really good in playing time crisis 2 )
i was pretty sad when i reached home from the cruise trip
regretting
hating myself for not having ay courage to ask her for his no.
or anything.
but at last
i found her through friendster
( that’s was only few days after the cruise trip )
chat with her in msn for a few days
and i confessed with her.
haha,
guess you guys should be laughing
a guy confess with a girl just after few days chatting with her.
sounds that the guy was kind of despo
honestly,
she was the girl i really loved most
and i just spoiled my chance this way
regreting what i had done
but is kind of useless
i thought fate brought us together
but guess fate can be destroyed easily
with just two bare hands
and a stupid unmature mindset
or maybe i didn’t know what’s love at all
during that time.
and so life continues on
i gone through some relationships
and learn more on what’s love is.
and guess what i knew about love,
love never have a meaning.
